I don’t have a typical mother/ daughter relationship with Tilly. She’s not interested in make-up and nails…she doesn’t even understand what they are! She’s not particularly bothered about what clothes I dress her in (but she does get a bit excited if there’s a bit of frilly chiffon on a dress). She isn’t able to go to dance or ballet classes; she’d probably love to as she loves music and watching other children dance, but because she can’t follow instructions, its sadly not an option that has been made available to her. We aren’t able to talk about what she’s doing at school, or who her friends are and arrange sleepovers with them. We don’t even have play dates with anyone.
But this isn’t a woe is me post. This is a celebration of the most magical, amazing mother/daughter relationship that Tilly and I have. She can tell me so much through the way she looks at me, guides me or touches me.
I love the way she gets excited when I say to her after breakfast at the weekend “do you want to go to Mummy’s bed?” and she grabs my hand, pulls my hand for me to help her upstairs and pushes me into my side of the bed. She then climbs in, pulls the duvet over us both, cuddles in and does a contented little wriggle together with her signature magical smile.
When we’re doing her Gemiini therapy, not only is she fully engaged with the videos, but she now looks to me in anticipation when the video asks “what does a lion say?” because she knows that I’ll tickle her and shout “Roaaaarrrr”. It’s always followed by a proper belly laugh.
If she knows I’m getting ready to go in the shower, she’ll lead me into the bathroom and help me get undressed because she’s telling me she wants to come in too. And when I’m out and putting body lotion on, she’ll help rub it into my legs. She’s always right there beside me, watching what I do.
Or the way she always greets me first thing in the morning when I get her up – the way her face lights up, the way she looks at me reassures me that above all else, she’s a very happy girl and feels loved and safe.
And although she’s never been able to actually say the words, I know that she loves me. Her eyes tell me so every day.